Typing One Handed

Parenting is a game where only the kids know the rules.

Pack Your Bags December 31, 2009

Filed under: blogging,moving — Kelly Jo @ 10:21 pm

We’re moving kids!

Sorry to do this to you, but my web address has changed.  You can now find Typing One Handed at:

www.momstypeonehanded.com

By getting my own domain I am able to have so much more control over my blog, and I like that.  I really enjoy control.

If you are currently a subscriber, rest assured that you will still have this option.  I know that if I took that ability away from you that life just wouldn’t be the same.  As I don’t want to be the one responsible for changing your world, I put the subscribe option toward the top of the page, on the right.  I hope you will still read along.

Thank you for the overwhelming support you’ve provided this last month, as I’ve been starting up.  I’m really excited to continue sharing my stories and thoughts with you.

Happy New Year!

(And speaking of the new year, why don’t you swing on by my new place to check out my latest post, A Long December.)

 

Man-Chore Powers December 30, 2009

Filed under: super powers,Writer's Workshop — Kelly Jo @ 12:12 pm
Tags: , ,

One thing I have enjoyed since starting up my blog is checking out other blogs.  I have spent many hours holding Baby Maya in my left arm while alternating my right hand back and forth between the mouse and keyboard, checking out all kinds of interesting reads.  One I came across is called Mama’s Losin’ It.

Every Wednesday she hosts a writer’s workshop where she posts topics for bloggers to choose from, and encourages you to choose one topic and blog about it.  So for today’s blog I present to you my Writer’s Workshop Post:

You wake up one day with an unusual super power that seems pretty worthless—until you are caught in a situation that requires that specific “talent.”

For the record, I chose this prompt for my husband.  Even though I really like all of today’s prompts, I figured I could write something he might actually enjoy, since he is such a loyal reader.  And because he puts up with a lot of my postpartum moodiness.  He deserves a good laugh.

Man-Chore Powers

It’s the chore that must be done, but nobody likes doing it: cleaning the gutters.  Luckily, as a woman, I get out of this one.  It’s a man job.  Just like taking out the garbage, mowing the lawn, and doing the laundry.  No?  Not that last one?  Shoot.

I was just as shocked as my husband was when the words came out of my mouth.  “Why don’t you stay inside and watch the game?  I can go clean the gutters.” 

Crickets.

Before I could claim insanity, the Seahawks were on.

As soon as I got outside, the realization hit me: I had no idea what I was doing.  I knew I needed a ladder, but what else?  A hose?  Gloves?  A little hand shovel?  (You can probably tell I spend a lot of time doing gardening and other outdoor home improvements.)  I got out the ladder and went up, figuring I could see what was up there and then determine what tools I needed.  As I SLOWLY climbed the ladder (one can never be too careful) I wished I had Spiderman’s powers and could just quickly scale the side of our two-story house.  Then I could just get right up there, clean the crud out, get right down, and feel safe the whole time.

Well, Spiderman powers weren’t there for me, but that doesn’t mean I was left without powers.

When I got up to the gutters I almost gagged upon seeing the sopping wet mess of leaves, pine needles, and miscellaneous Northwest sludge that was waiting for me.  But as I grabbed on to the edge of the gutter, the strangest thing happened: a shot of air came bursting out of my left ring finger.  It had more pressure than the air hose at the Chevron.  But more exciting yet, all the sludge came shooting out of the gutter, and disappeared into thin air.  And my hands were still clean!

This was too good to be true.  I quickly finished cleaning the gutters and then set out to see what my air-hose finger could accomplish.  Leaf blowing, tire pressurizing, hair drying?  The possibilities seemed endless.

As I tried all of these tasks, however, I came to a sad discovery.  My air-hose finger only worked while it was in contact with a gutter.  I went back into my house, head hung low, upset that I all I could do was a man-chore.  But as I sat down to watch the rest of a typically pathetic Seahawks game, I was (thankfully) interrupted by some breaking news.

A family just down the road from my own house was trapped inside their home.  A gust of wind, so strong, had blown the gutters right off their house, blocking every exit and vent.  Not only were they trapped inside, but they weren’t getting any oxygen!  And the gutters were so full of nasty Northwest sludge that they were too heavy to move.  If someone didn’t clean their gutters, and fast, this innocent family would soon be meeting their maker.

I knew my time had come.  This was the moment I had been waiting for my whole life.  Today, I was going to become a hero.

I ran down the road as fast as I could (which isn’t very fast, but I did my best), to where a crowd was starting gather.  “Let me through!”  I yelled.  “I can help these people.  I clean gutters.”

Several of them sneered.  “How do you expect to help them?  You’re a 5’3″ tall woman with no ladder, and gutter cleaning is a man’s job.”

“I WILL help them,” I stated boldly, “with my gutter cleaning super-powers.”  The crowd gasped.  And with that, I reached out my hand to the ground level gutter.  My air-hose finger took care of the rest.

The strong man (every super-hero story needs a strong man, right?) tossed away the gutter, and the family came bursting out through the front door.  “Thank you, Gutter Cleaning Hero!” they exclaimed, as the news crews from all the major networks began interviewing me.

That night, my husband was so proud that he bought me extra-spicy chicken pad thai for diner (hint, hint… I know you’re reading this).  He talked about starting what would be a very profitable gutter cleaning business.  I stopped him shortly into the conversation.  It was a good idea, and of course we could use the money.  But I just couldn’t take advantage of people like that.

Some powers should only be used for good.

 

May I Offer You Some Plastic Peas? December 29, 2009

Filed under: Cooking,holidays,kids — Kelly Jo @ 2:00 pm
Tags: , ,

Now that my oldest is two, and old enough to be aware of who Santa is and what he does, I realized this year that Christmas really is for the kids.  In years past I have always put together my list and waited anxiously to see what Santa (Mom and Dad) would bring me.  Except the year I looked in Mom and Dad’s closet and knew everything I was getting.  Best. Christmas. Ever.

This year was different though.  As my husband and I were putting together the kitchen that Grandpa and Grandma Santa had gotten Zoey, I realized that I was more excited to see Zoey’s reaction to her new kitchen than I was to see my own gifts.  Does this mean parenthood has made me less selfish? That can’t be right.  Anyway…

The kitchen was the biggest hit of Christmas.  Bigger than Uncle Tyler’s smoker, Uncle Brett’s iPod, or Mommy’s new Keurig (which, obviously, was a close second).  It was such a big hit, in fact, that she didn’t want to continue opening presents, she was too busy playing with her new kitchen.  She finally finished opening her presents around three that afternoon.  And I opened most of them for her.

It’s really cool when your two-year old has her own kitchen.  And I’m not at all jealous that her kitchen is nicer than mine.  Really.  In her kitchen with (plastic) stainless steel appliances, Zoey has cooked for us many fine dishes, such as (plastic) roast chicken, (plastic) corn on the cob, (plastic) pink carrots, and (rubber) fried eggs.  She has also tempted our taste buds with some imaginary culinary treats, such as microwave popcorn from an empty cardboard box, coconut milk from a can that can’t be opened, and apple juice from a sealed carton which Zoey insists you drink from a teacup with a spoon.

Occasionally she lets us cook with her.  “Mommy, do want to cook?”  “Daddy, do want to cook?”  (This isn’t a typo, she doesn’t say the word “you”.)  But mostly she is busy working by herself.  She spends so much time in her kitchen that I am tempted to give her real ingredients and see what she comes up with.  If I hated myself even a little and hadn’t had the carpets shampooed just last month, I might actually do it.

In the meantime I am enjoying watching her face light up as she serves me her latest concoction.  Little smokies with oregano and cinnamon?  Yes, please!

I am also considering re-wrapping the unnoticed presents.  Maybe her birthday won’t cost too much next year.

 

The Break-Up (Love Letter Follow Up) December 28, 2009

Filed under: coffee — Kelly Jo @ 11:18 am
Tags: ,

Dear Cuisinart Grind and Brew Automatic Coffee Maker,

We’ve had five and a half wonderful years together.  Years filled with you helping keep me awake, assisting me in keeping up with my children, and helping make me a more tolerable person to my husband.

Of course there have been bad times, remember when I dropped your carafe and chipped off the pour spout?  We were on a break for over a week when that happened.  But just like a knee replacement, the new carafe your makers sent kept you as good as new.  Or there was that time I forgot to put your filter in, and you couldn’t help but spew coffee all over my counter and  onto the floor.  I was mad at you at first, but deep down I know that it was my fault.

Most of our memories have been good memories.  Not only were you accepting when you discovered my affair with Starbucks, but you allowed me to have two loves by teaming with them and brewing me wonderful blends, like Anniversary, and my favorite- Casi Cielo.  Oh, when you and Starbucks Casi Cielo came together I thought I could never replace you.  That’s why what I’m about to say will be some of the hardest words I’ve ever said.

I’ve met someone new.  It’s name is Keurig Brewer.  When I first found it waiting under the Christmas tree, I thought it was just superficial attraction.   But the more time we spend together the more I know that this is the real thing.  With Keurig, I get as much as I want right when I want it.  While you take time every morning to warm up and give me what I need, with Keurig there is no waiting.

I know that people will talk.  I know they will think I’m foolish for abandoning my long-time love for the new guy on the market, but I have thought this through.  I’m back at work now, and my mornings are rushed.  I don’t have time to wait around for you anymore.

If you’d like you can hang around, I think I have some room in storage.  And perhaps we can have an occasional tryst.  I know my friends have enjoyed you, so perhaps when company comes around we can reunite, for old times’ sake.  But its time for me to move on.

I’ll always remember the good times we’ve had.  Thank you for the memories.  I will think of them often, and remember them fondly.

Make sure to put your grinder basket and carafe in the dishwasher whenever you need to shower.  And remember to drink some white vinegar occasionally to keep your insides clean.  Just don’t over-do it, you remember how your coffee tasted when you didn’t rinse well enough.

Take care of yourself.

Warm regards,

Kelly Jo

 

Cooking Through a Case of the Mondays December 27, 2009

Filed under: Cooking — Kelly Jo @ 2:59 pm
Tags: , ,

Being a mom is a lot of work.  There is cleaning to be done, meals to prepare, appointments to be kept, all while having your every move scrutinized by little people who are learning all about life from you.  Throw an eight-hour workday on top of that, and you have the recipe for stress.

Well, take a much-needed break mommy.  I am here to help you!  As it so happens, I am a mom who works outside the home too.  You know what else?  I am a mom who loves to cook!  I know how hard it can be to come home on a Monday and cook dinner for your family, knowing there are still four exhausting days left.  Are you an at home mom?  This is for you too.  I know it must be difficult, alone all day with the kiddos and no one to give you a break.  Nap time should be for resting, not for cooking.

I am excited to present you my first weekly blog,  Cooking Through a Case of the Mondays.  It is here to help you prepare a quick and easy Monday night dinner that your family is sure to love!  Why post on Sunday?  By posting on Sunday you have time to get your groceries, and, in many cases, prepare the dish ahead so that all you have to do on Monday evening is turn on the oven and toss it in.

*Note- I am a big believer in being a carnivore, if you are a vegetarian you will probably have to tweak the recipes to make them work for you.

So what is for dinner tomorrow?

Quiche

This is a great recipe that will help you use up the leftover Christmas ham.  Didn’t have ham?  Go by the deli and have them cut you a couple thick slices of ham.

You will need:

1 frozen prepared pie crust

4 eggs

1-1/2 C milk or half and half

Chopped onion  (I chop an entire onion and freeze the unused portion)

1 C diced ham

A handful or two of frozen broccoli

A handful or two of shredded cheese

Salt and pepper to taste

Here is the hard part:

Mix everything but the milk and eggs in a bowl.  And not the pie crust either (duh).  You can mix these the night before and let them hang out in the fridge until cooking time.  Or be like me and make double so you can freeze half.

Mix the milk and eggs in a separate bowl, add to other ingredients and mix well.  Pour into pie crust.

Bake for 35-40 minutes at 350 degrees, until a knife inserted into the center comes out clean.  Let sit ten minutes before serving.  Enjoy!

 

And the Winner Is… December 24, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — Kelly Jo @ 12:46 pm

Congratulations Molly!  With a guess of 741 emails, you are the winner!

I came back to work this morning with 792 emails waiting to be read.  Although most of them were not read (my delete button is quite tired right now).  The important ones are mostly still waiting (currently filed on my mental to-do list titled “I’m far too tired to deal with this many emails”).  There should have been at least a couple hundred more, I’m sure, but pretty much all of September’s emails were deleted for me.  They only get to sit unread in the system for so long.  But that, of course, works to Molly’s advantage!

I hope you enjoyed participating in my mini-giveaway.  It was fun to have so many people stop by my blog, I hope if you were a new visitor you will feel free to look around and come back by again.  In fact, you really should, because come the new year there will be bigger and better prizes to be won!

I am going to take a couple days off here, I figure you would rather spend the holidays with your family than reading about mine (although I can’t figure out why, my family is delightful!).  Make sure to come back on Sunday to find out what’s for dinner on Monday.

And have yourself a merry little Christmas!

 

All Good Things Must Come to an End December 23, 2009

Filed under: giveaway,Work — Kelly Jo @ 8:28 am

Today is my last day of maternity leave.  I am trying to decide how I feel about this, and the jury is still out.  On the good side, I have a wonderful job that I enjoy.  My co-workers make me laugh, and we have a lot of fun.  My work can be difficult at times, but I like the occasional challenge.  The stimulation is good for my mind.

Of course there are downsides.  I won’t get to spend as much time with my family… now that I think about it, that is the only real downside.  Everything else is superficial, like I won’t be able to sleep in, I won’t get to watch The Price is Right every day, and I won’t get to camp in front of the computer in between naps.  Hmmm… this looks bad.  I swear that I have spent this maternity leave bonding with Maya!  I promise!!!

Tonight, when my leave is officially over, I am going to have a date with my husband.  The girls are spending the night with my parents.  Kelly and I will go out to dinner and then come home and watch Love Actually.  We have done this every December 23 since we have been married, our own special Christmas tradition.  It is an event I look forward to every year, and I can’t think of a better way to spend the evening before heading back.  Of course, putting the midnight feedings off on my folks for a night won’t be too bad either!

Then tomorrow I’m back at it.  Since it is Christmas Eve, patients probably won’t be knocking down the door.  I will be spending most of my day catching up on emails.  I have been out since 2:30 on September 4, so there will be A LOT.

Remember a couple days ago when I talked about upcoming giveaways during Looking Back, Looking Ahead?  Well today I am going to give you a small tasteof what’s to come.  I have a $5 Starbucks card to give to the person who can guess how many emails will be waiting for me at work.  Post your guess as a comment by 8 AM on Christmas Eve (tomorrow).  The closest guess wins!  I will contact you at the email address you supply upon commenting, and will announce the winner after the contest has ended, so make sure to check back tomorrow!

Remember, this is only a small giveaway- keep checking back in 2010 for chances to win bigger and better prizes!  Good luck, and wish me the same for tomorrow!!!