Dear Cuisinart Grind and Brew Automatic Coffee Maker,
We’ve had five and a half wonderful years together. Years filled with you helping keep me awake, assisting me in keeping up with my children, and helping make me a more tolerable person to my husband.
Of course there have been bad times, remember when I dropped your carafe and chipped off the pour spout? We were on a break for over a week when that happened. But just like a knee replacement, the new carafe your makers sent kept you as good as new. Or there was that time I forgot to put your filter in, and you couldn’t help but spew coffee all over my counter and onto the floor. I was mad at you at first, but deep down I know that it was my fault.
Most of our memories have been good memories. Not only were you accepting when you discovered my affair with Starbucks, but you allowed me to have two loves by teaming with them and brewing me wonderful blends, like Anniversary, and my favorite- Casi Cielo. Oh, when you and Starbucks Casi Cielo came together I thought I could never replace you. That’s why what I’m about to say will be some of the hardest words I’ve ever said.
I’ve met someone new. It’s name is Keurig Brewer. When I first found it waiting under the Christmas tree, I thought it was just superficial attraction. But the more time we spend together the more I know that this is the real thing. With Keurig, I get as much as I want right when I want it. While you take time every morning to warm up and give me what I need, with Keurig there is no waiting.
I know that people will talk. I know they will think I’m foolish for abandoning my long-time love for the new guy on the market, but I have thought this through. I’m back at work now, and my mornings are rushed. I don’t have time to wait around for you anymore.
If you’d like you can hang around, I think I have some room in storage. And perhaps we can have an occasional tryst. I know my friends have enjoyed you, so perhaps when company comes around we can reunite, for old times’ sake. But its time for me to move on.
I’ll always remember the good times we’ve had. Thank you for the memories. I will think of them often, and remember them fondly.
Make sure to put your grinder basket and carafe in the dishwasher whenever you need to shower. And remember to drink some white vinegar occasionally to keep your insides clean. Just don’t over-do it, you remember how your coffee tasted when you didn’t rinse well enough.
Take care of yourself.