Typing One Handed

Parenting is a game where only the kids know the rules.

The Toilet Seat Cover Capers December 5, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — Kelly Jo @ 11:25 am

Remember when I told you that I may occasionally repost an old favorite?  Well today is one of those days.  My girls and I are picking up my mom and heading to Seattle to attend my sister’s baby shower.  I don’t have enough time to write out a blog before I leave, so you can enjoy (or re-enjoy, if that is the case) an old favorite from October of 2006.  Not only was this before I had kids, but it was before I even knew I wanted kids.  Hard to believe that was only three short years ago.


I am a big fan of all the automatic appliances in bathrooms these days.

Kelly and I went down to Redding, CA over the weekend to go to his college homecoming weekend.  This is about a seven hour drive, so we take a few breaks along the way.  That’s right, a few.  Any of you who have taken long car trips with me know that I only stop when I need to pump gas.  You better pee now because we won’t stop again for another three hundred miles, that’s what my passengers hear.  So a few stops is a lot for me.  Anyway, one of the stops we made was at the Seven Feathers Casino just south of Roseburg, OR.  When I went to use the restroom I was delighted to see that they had automatic everything, including the soap dispensers.  This is great- you don’t see too many of those!  Hooray for cleanliness!

I went into the stall and pulled out one of the paper butt protector things.  No sooner had I laid it down, the automatic flusher goes off and sucks it away!  Well, shoot.  I’m not about to sit down bare, so we’ll just try this again.  Remove butt guard, place on toilet seat.  Success!  OK, now all I have to do is undo my belt. “Whooosh” taunts the flusher, sucking away the butt guard as I only lift my hand to my belt buckle.  What the? Well what do they want me to do?  Pee with my pants on?  That just doesn’t make any sense!

I don’t think I want to put this picture in your head.  In order to finish the story without you being too grossed out, lets picture someone beautiful in this situation.  My husband is quite fond of Keira Knightly, so we’ll go with her.

Imagine Keira Knightly now has lost two paper protectors to the wrath of the automatic flusher.  Picture Keira Knightly trapped in a bathroom stall, desperately needing to relieve her bladder, but not sure how to outwit that wiley flusher.  Now picture Keira Knightly making all of the movements of preparation for this event while trying to keep clear of the sensor.  Leaning over the sensor line, reaching her arms up then arching them around to clear it.  Now, imagine that Keira Knightly wasn’t tall and graceful, but instead short and clumsy, and this story should be hilarious.

Well, I both safely and successfully used the restroom at the casino.  It took some fancy workings, but I outsmarted that flusher!  Hah stupid toilet, take that!  I get up to go, but refuse to leave the stall until the flushing is finished.  Hey, how come it isn’t flushing?  I wave my hand in front of the sensor.  Is this a joke?  Flush, FLUSH!!!!

You can’t make this stuff up people.


One Response to “The Toilet Seat Cover Capers”

  1. Jordan Says:

    So…my thing with automatic flushers is this…

    Although it is nice to not have to touch the handle of the flusher, I feel that it wastes sooo much more water when it flushes 87 times while in the stall. Of course once you finishes it doesn’t flush at all, so you end up having to push the little button under the sensor anyway. I like the flushers in the Portland airport, the ones that give you the choice of flushing for number one or number two. They aren’t automatic, but they save a bunch of water that way. In my opinion, we should just suck it up and touch the flusher…we’ll be washing our hands anyway.

    Wow, guess I had more feelings about toilet flushers that I realized…!! LOL!

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